Normalcy: Aside

_Jam Session

2011-03-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

Wow, this was way too hard to upload...technology is stupid sometimes! Anywho, I think I joined a band yesterday. Haha no but really, a coworker and his friend came over and we goofed around. It was fun and awesome! The violinist hasn't played in years and I am well, not a musician, but chiming in on harmonica and colin is grounding us in guitar and vocals. This is super ridiculously rough, but it was also the first song we did and first time we played together. All Sean and I knew was what key it was in and this is what came out...

Its a cover of an artist and song that I don't know the name of. Again, NOT an original, just a cover. You will probably recognize the tune.

_Love Police

2011-03-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry, for all the videos, but this one is just plain awesome!

Hahaha

_A Day of Glass

2011-03-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

This video was posted on facebook the other day by an old classmate. To be honest, it kind of freaks me out! It is so crazy the direction that technology is going its really awesome, but overwhelmingly ridiculous and insane at the same time. Check it out...

Could you imagine?? Soon we really will be able to transport ourselves Star Trek style!

_5am Night

2011-03-05T12:20:00.001-08:00

Another 5 am night.

I love doing art at night. Knowing that no one is around. Less distractions. There is also this all consuming eerie quietness, creating a timeless vortex that stops life and all its craziness for one long moment. Where you can just, do your thing.

These are just studies and have a long LONG way to go, but I am slowly understanding the world of ballet. The ballet teacher at my work is interested in a painting and I thought it would be a good opportunity put together a series for portfolio pieces. I must admit, figure studies are my favorite. I like detailed realism. The Jackson Pollock, modern art that has taken the forefront in todays world is definitely fun to do, but there is something about the tight strokes isolating form in a hyper realism state that just feels oh so good. Maybe its the structure. I dunno. Stay tuned as this project develops.

_Chex Mix

2011-03-05T11:44:00.000-08:00

Another awesome Saturday morning at the firehouse! Usually I try to be productive during this time i.e. work on p:ear stuff, work on my own website, work on my forever daunting bio etc. etc. Yeeeeeeeeeeeea. Today I took a picture, ate chex mix, and played on my phone. Productive? Nope. But sometimes you have to have an unproductive day to assure the productive ones.

The thing about flowers. They follow the sun. That's rad and crazy at the same time. I wonder if they want to follow the sun or if its purely a need based relationship. I mean clearly they need it (thank you 4th grade), but do they want to follow the preset paths laid out before them?

I decided the other night when walking home that the moon is underrated. The sun gets all the attention with its warmth and light and all that jazz. The moon, keeps consistancy. Controlling the tides, the gravitational pull in relation to the earth slows down the rotation of the world dictating the lengths of days, and not to mention its subtle glows that can guide us in the darkest of nights. Yeah, I think the moon needs a shout out more often.

_SNOW DAY!!

2011-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Eat Snow!

Only in Portland would there be a snow day without snow. I haven't had a snow day since I was in college and I mean it was a real snow day. 3 feet deep at least, cars buried from days and days of the snow plow. Thick compacted layer on all of the streets and side walks causing a winter slip n' slide to and from classes. Portland's kind of weak. BUT I get to err on the side of AWESOME, since my job follows Portland Public School Systems decisions, no need for the grunt workers!

Some computer play at the coffee shop across the street, painting & drawing for sure! Hmm... The possibilities! I'm so excited! Its not often we get a straight up freebee day. Portland really is where young people go to retire!

Most of you have probably seen this, but its just so great!

Quirks

2011-02-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

I love making finds like this around Portland. I have found knit covered bike parking & phone poles, funky lawn dressers used as free boxes, paint decorated intersections, more bike parts have been used as fences as fence parts, and not to mention all of those tied up plastic horses to the side walk from The Horse Project.

It's weird and it's awesome. Quirks are rad. Its part of what keeps life interesting.

_Love Show, Love Schmoh

2011-02-05T12:06:00.001-08:00

SNEAK PREVIEW!

Here is an insiders view of my new piece that will be in the the PORTLAND LOVE SHOW. There are over 350 artists in this show and I'm pretty excited, I think its going to be a hectic blast. Check out this link for more info on time and day: Love Show

Ok, so lets be honest. "love"??? Blegh. Consider me young, or consider me wise. I was looking for a group show to enter so that I could stay active in the art world. Also, I needed a push to get me out of my winter hibernation. What is the next group show? The friggin' love show. Its like a bad taste in my mouth that I can't shake. So I stalled and procrastinated and when the deadline took me by the ropes I stewed and I cussed and I paced the thoughts of love. Or the idea of love. The main thing is that I didn't want to be cheesy in the hot firey passion sort of way and I would rather gag on a spoon than encorporate any hearts. Seriously, hearts are stupid (geometic shape speaking). The last week before my friends moved out of town, I had discovered a quote. I loved it (-heh, love), mainly because I felt like it simply stated the quality of my friendships along with my disposition in life. Including Portland's actually. Keep Portland weird. I agree, be weird. Right! The quote...

"We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

~Dr. Seuss

"Calculated Risks Amongst the Chaos of Simplicity"
23"x24", Mixed Media on wood panel

_Hit Up Portland, Hard

2011-01-15T11:45:00.000-08:00

Two and a half years after college, a group of friends reunited in Portlandia. Was it an anomoly? Could be, but I don't like to see it that way. It's not the kind of friends where you just 'like' their status on Facebook or catch up with a quick coffee date to 'catch up' when you're in their city for something else...but the other kind. It was our last week together so a Portland bucket list was made and pinned to the wall. From the ridiculous to the absurd, from new things to try, to re-experiencing some of the favorites. It started so simple...

Then it grew...

Then a bit more...

And all I've got to say now is...

Its time to start another list! Here's to all my underdogs!!

_Make it Complicated

2011-01-10T16:19:00.000-08:00

I had this idea. Story of my life, right. BUT I like this one. I had pretty much decided to start going for it, I mean, why not? Although, as I was getting more in depth and developing layers and threads, I had this flash of "Stop. You're going over board, just keep it simple". Then today, I rediscovered one of my writing logs or rants if you will, in one of my notebooks...

"Dear Self,

I apologize for the verbal explosion about to occur. Why do people preach ingenuity, then assault with limitations? I snapped a little today. It takes a lot to get my goat, but today I was given the final straw. Limitations. Boundaries. A 'realize reality'. Art/life is anything but reality, so why would I ever in my right mind stay with in that. To be just another mignon (sp?)[lemming] rewriting the same verse? It is not my style nor my aspirations. I want to at the bare minimum, try everything. It kills me to not succeed, but more, it kills me to not even consider the possibilites. Of course I don't know how to implement my crazy ideas, but I know how to start. I'll figure out a way. I'll give it a shot. Today was about the hundredth time someone has told me to reign it in. SCREW THAT. For once, I want to make it complicated. I want to pull some resources. Learn ridiculous new things. Invest for the sake of the cause. The ingenuity. It could be an epic fail, but you know what...it could be an epic success. So screw 'reality'. Forget simplicity, and make it as complicated ridiculously big, clever, and crazy as you can think of. Promise me, you'll never conform to others' definititions or reduce ideas to those who don't understand. One day some oddball soul trapped in the same quandry will love you for it. For at least, the very least; Trying."

Well, here's to all of us and: just. friggin'. going for it

_Check it

2011-01-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

I have officially been confirmed to use this space for a Last Thursday show in June. I will be curating the entire event. Step 1: Find your party pants...

I'm ridiculously excited for this show, and more excited to bring in new elements such as installation and performance art. It's also nice to know that I have time to prepare as I really want to go all out. I hereby dub this show/gallery: fluxus

In college I had a strong urge to own a coffee shop/ art venue/ space/ thing. I immediately titled it fluxus. Not based on the visual elements of the art, but the movement and the theory. I have come to realize that owning something will be in the far far distant future...maybe. So consider this the start of fluxus, the travelling gallery. It will follow me in my pursuits changing locations and shows, however, only embracing the meaning more so, with every new experience.

Can You Handle This?

2011-01-03T15:31:00.000-08:00

BEER TAP HANDLE: Dec. '10

A First ever Attempt. Watch my progress under the 'Art Shenanigans' page.

_Halloween

2010-11-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

Halloween. One of the more enjoyable holidays. An opportunity for wit and humor to take visual form. I normally go for the "object" category with some old favorites being a slinky, vending machine, and sling shot. This year it snuck up on me and I was a complete slacker in the costume department. While my friends' costumes consisted of, a scarecrow, a destructive baker, a ghostbuster, and an ape, I was a "Horrible Idea".

Front -I carried around a kitchen fork to put into the plug in.

Back

The best part of halloween was the next day. On my bike ride into town, seeing the stragglers of the night walk their disoriented selves back home in their solo parades of struggling memories.

_well...it was FREE

2010-11-13T10:32:00.000-08:00

Sooo...I went to this live drawing gig with a friend of mine. At the end of the session they gave out some prizes and John won best of portfolio! Well, turns out he couldn't go because of a wedding and he gave the tickets to me. What were the tickets for you ask? They were for a super hero/villian party put on by the Alter Ego Society. Now a super hero party isn't my number one choice for a good time, but... I also like the price of FREE. But what would I ever wear???

Oh right, I own a star wars ventress costume, that's not weird at all. Add some tights, mess up the hair, a little face paint and

BLAM!

But don't worry, I don't do weird all by myself...

The actual event was like a horrible Junior High Dance. However, we had a blast getting ready and causing a scene!

_Recovery Panes

2010-10-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

This is the upcoming show at p:ear. It is really awesome and essentially represents what art is supposed to do. Hurt. Heal. Speak. The show is based off of a grant funded project, created and developed by Kelly Williams. She went into schools and held sessions and taught encaustic painting to while letting each student make their own. They then wrote down something about addiction or drugs in response to the piece that they created.

While holding these sessions, people can't help but to talk. Scraping away the layers of wax unfolds the depths of emotions in their own life. Before you know it the students (adult or young) are leaking out feelings, experiences, and hope that has been brewing inside of them.
Definitely checkout the Recovery Panes Blog to check out some of p:ear youth's stories!
Here is the actual press release that I wrote:

Opening Reception: Thursday, November 4th, 6-9pm
On Display: November 4th – November 29th, 2010
Gallery Hours: Tuesday – Friday, 10-2pm: or by appointment
Gallery Location: 338 NW 6th St. Portland, OR 97209 Corner of 6th & NW Flanders

Recovery Panes Healing Arts Project, founded by Kelly Williams, has exposed the impact of addiction through the process of encaustics. The RACC granted project has allowed Williams to use art as a cathartic rhythm to explore personal experiences, hope, & triumph. As lives are created by moments and interactions, the panels represent the change of stories when rearranged differently. Come alter the panels and add your own touch to the stories with live music featuring p:ear youth, this 1st Thursday, November 4th.

Kelly Williams is a local Portland artist, who has transformed encaustic paintings into a flowing rhythm of life. Every line and gesture has been transcribed by emotion packed experiences and fleeting filled notions. Williams also holds encaustic workshops dedicated to exploring one’s own inner chaos through the layers wax. To learn more: www.recoverypanes.blogspot.com and www.kellywilliams.blogspot.com

_Reality vs Actuality

2010-10-16T12:56:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you have extra time on your hands? Eat, watch tv, do some sit-ups. Nope. You paint a mural on your bedroom wall. Why? Why did you turn a pillar into a jelly fish tank? Because you can...

BAM! Sky.

An Ant? Ya, it just got weird up in here.

Shoot! I ran out of brown paint. Well Its not finished and I have a quote that goes with this, so stay tuned for the final product.

_Press Release

2010-10-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

Dah! Its Moving

We have just gotten word at the highest corporate floor of perceived important people that Danielle. is. in. fact. alive. Was she there? Pff! Nope. BUT was she at the Toy Store?? Heck no people! Interviewing some of the employees, it was noted that on her last hour, she yelled "peace out suckas" shooting the faux bow in one hand, a handkerchief around her head like Rambo, & throwing rubber chickens in the other hand as she darted behind fixtures and small children on out the door. This is all we knew until I ran into Bug-Eye-Billy-Pete down there on the street selling those artsy wire crab catchers. "Boooooy, I tellya she went on in ter p:ear that one mornin'. Playin' that sound box from the devil scarin' all my cust'mers. Tryin' run me a bizness ov'r here..."

p:ear, had in fact been victim of her services, installing for the latest show and playing harmonica with the 'regulars'. They haven't seen her since they made her stand for a photo right after biking into downtown highlighting the beads of sweat still traversing her face. Cursing that they would post the picture to their website she scurried onto her bike and rode against the wind with a sign reading "I will prevail".

Finally, at a loss I head to my drawing group. I reconfigure my thoughts, and put together the facts and figures using arrows and circles as researchers do to look legit. In fact I brought a chalk board, but got caught up playing hangman. I won everytime. Talking to the bar back named Tino he had all my answers. People if you ever come upon a "Tino, Tony, Vinny, or Bud" always talk to them. "Oh, ya she's over at Ethos now."

And so it goes... Ethos. A greek god, a music center, a fun word to say. A non profit dedicate to keeping music alive, getting people to dance a jig, and changing the world's rhythms and beats.

_Time Change

2010-08-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

TIME CHANGE

Show starts at 7pm.

Urban Studios
Corner of nw 10th & Davis in the pearl district

Hope to see people there!

_Save the Date

2010-07-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

So here it is. My vice. My voice. Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes not so much. Some silly, some emotional, some absurd. Nonetheless, I strive for no consistency, no particular medium, no specific genre. It is a moment of no definition, no limits, only pure vision of the soul, to which changes every day with every experience.

Check out my work this First Thursday at Urban Studios. Did I mention food, booze, and a live dj? Oh yeah, ...there's that too!

Its First Thursday on NW 10th & Davis in the Pearl district. 6-8pm on August 5th. If you're around you should come check it out!

Urban Studios is more of an event space so my stuff will be up more in the background. But whateves, it'll still be awesome, and don't forget the free food. Nothing's a better price than free! Eh, eh.

_Peace out Beavertron

2010-07-19T13:27:00.000-07:00

And so it goes...we moved out. Our house is kind of like the movie The Money Pit, but not nearly that big. Things keep breaking and there are suspicious bugs, but nonetheless we have dubbed it as ours. My room is in the basement to which I didn't have a bed for the first couple months. So I compensated with what I did have...

...a tent and sleeping bag. Hey whatever works. It was fun, kind of like extreme urban camping, without the hotel. And room service. Note the jar of peanuts, its a staple in my life. There is also a random pillar in my room. Holding up half of the house I assume. Its weird tho, and slightly in the way. So I wanted to try to give it a more interesting purpose. So I painted it. Its supposed to look like a fish tank with jelly fish in it. More work is to be done, but the pic gives you an idea of my progress. More painting shall ensue in the future tho.

_Sanka!? Yuh Dead?

2010-07-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

...yea mon.

*Name that movie*

Yea wow. I guess this is what happens when you don't have internet and you work 3 jobs and get paid for 1. Well, Life has been crazy busy. So get ready for blogapalooza. Lets start here:

Art hop

I did Art Hop on Alberta. It was fun. Highlight: I almost sold the gun drawing to a kid that was swinging an 8 inch blade knife around, coaxing his little brother to duck when he swung. HA! no but really. I woudn't have felt right about that...heh.

_What the What is Ladylike!?

2010-05-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

_No Rest For the Weary

2010-05-12T22:28:00.000-07:00

Blue Scholars is a super rad group from Seattle. I've seen them live a couple of times and it is my personal goal to get them to play at p:ear. They nestled into a unique niche in the hip hop/ rap world known as "movement".

_Skinny what?

2010-05-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

Skinny Jeans Formula:

(Normal size in same brand + 2 sizes up) + {(Weight/ age) x 2 lunges} =
appropriate skinny jeans fit when entering the world.

I can't believe I know this.

_Circus Act

2010-05-04T21:29:00.001-07:00

Photos taken and composited by yours truly when in the mood to put off important tasks. The feet of the jumper on the right still needs work!

Kooza was FREAKING UH MAY ZING!! Why have I not ran away and joined the circus?? Oh right, I have never tried to put a bike on a tight-wire 80 feet in the air before. Cirque Du Soleil, building an innovative niche in the entertainment market by integrating theater into their acts sucks you in whether you like it or not! A story line simple upon first glance, was brought to life by the most detailed twitches, stares, and smiles. Without meaning to, I had built my own story line lacing the characters together. It was no longer a man of magic introducing a boy into an opportunity driven land, but it was a man of magic introducing his world and perspective. Showing off his mistress, the punk trapeze artist, to whom he gave toying playful looks and intriguing crooked smirks. Later, respective and distant introducing the queen, royalty. Giving up his seat at the forefront of attention, while assisting her with hula hoops.

It was a ton of fun, and I couldn't help but to look into the possibilities of all the fun things I could be doing! Its shows like that, that charge you with all of the incredible excitement that should be taking place in your life. And it is shows like that, which will change perspectives, futures, and push the limits of creation.

_Wide awake at 2am

2010-04-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

Wide awake at 2am. Of course a random photoshoot makes sense. Sometimes, I am so weird.

_Its like they know

2010-04-11T18:46:00.000-07:00

White hairs taking refuge in my widows peak, the forefront of my hairline. Its like they know.

Right where everyone can see. Slightly camouflaged now, by some of the remains of an old highlight job, I'll probably be salt n' pepper by the age 27. The joke is on them however, will it bug me. Nope. Even at the young age of 24? Nope. I won't die it or pluck it either. It is what it is. Age is nothing but a mile marker. It does not prohibit where you are going, or where you want to go. It does not track your speed, or change the rules. It simply gives a visible reference of where you are and where you have been. There's nothing at age 24 that I couldn't do at age 23 and there is nothing that I have done at 23 that I still cannot do now or in the future. Maybe my naivety precedes me, but I don't want to ever let it become an excuse. Instead an opportunity for all of the new ruckus and adventure that will ensue. Life's a blast, lets rock it hard

_Work in Progress

2010-04-04T22:14:00.001-07:00

Work in progress. Well, to be honest I'm tired of working on it so I'm dubbing it as being finished. After featuring a graffiti artist at p:ear this month and watching another graffiti writer at a live art event at Backspace, I got crazy amped up and decided to put my scrap findings to work. Katie and I ran home and started spray painting and splattering it up, sure to have a dance party in the garage. The next day I laid out the pieces coated in splatters and spontaneous movements. Adding a couple other scraps to the scene I then put a wash over the grafitti allowing it to show through while still building a scene pulling all of the pieces together.

Detail:

_Meet Big T

2010-03-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Big T. He is the half man that they threw in for free when I bought li'l Q, the mannequin for an art project. Now, what do you do with Big T when his only experience is posing in windows showing off trendy clothes?...

Well, if its your sister's birthday, you use him to make one big ass jello mold!

8 boxes of jello, 4 bags of ice, & 1 bathtub later a jello mold of one very large man's torso is created.

Getting the jello out did not prove to be easy, and when all else failed...

and all awkwardness aside,
Bon Apetit!!

_I Love this Video

2010-03-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

_New Roomie

2010-03-07T23:27:00.000-08:00

Now, you are probably asking yourself a range of very legit questions at this moment. Here's my attempt to answer them:

Currently nameless
A tall drink of water
I'm pretty sure she's dating the half a man that they threw in for free
Jen doesn't allow dogs?

HaHa, I bought her because I have an idea for a sculpture and needed a figure to work with seeing as using myself was not working and extremely difficult. It involves puzzles. I've never tried sculpture before so we'll see how this goes. Its going to be a long process, mainly because it is super tedious and involves a lot of drying steps. I must admit, I think I am going to get a surprising amount of uses out of her!! Who knew I would be so excited to buy a mannequin?!

_Just Add Water

2010-03-07T23:20:00.001-08:00

My latest sketches, rediscovering pastels:

_Serendipity

2010-03-07T23:19:00.001-08:00

So I'm just standing there right...

Aviators on, rockin' out to kink, sun shining, simply waiting for the bus.

This guy runs across the five lane street, I assume because he's worried he'll miss the bus not realizing he had plenty of time. Immediately, without hesitation he says "can I ask you a question?"

I hadn't even gotten my ear phones out with my response before he continues asking "are you in high school or college?" I reply, neither and that I've graduated, but it didn't matter. He was going to ask the question regardless. I think he needed to. He then asked if I was an ethical and moral person. I could only respond with, haha, erm...I try to be. So finally to the question. Is it a where does this bus go? Where do babies come from? Can I bum a dollar? No. It went something more like this:

"If someone is trying to destroy you, is it okay to retaliate, not retaliate...refute what their saying about you to protect yourself even if it means falling to their level? I mean, we're friends, but he'll destroy you. I know what he's capable of. I mean deep shit, well I've done messed up shit too. and with him. But now he's doing it to me. I can't let that happen. I gotta stand up. Maybe cuz I'm the only one that can, that means I should stand up, beat him at his own game."

His speech was frantic, body language unsettled. His chest popped out a bit when talking about standing up to his friend, but slightly terrified the rest of the time as if scared of what standing up meant. It wasn't just that he had a decision point in front of him, it was the fact that the time had come to decide. The hardest part. And referring to a complete stranger for advice, a desperate move? or a smart one to ask someone completely unrelated to the situation? I think it showed honesty.

We eventually got interrupted by the bus and sat in distant seats. He held his head in his hands. Fidgeted with his phone. I replayed the conversation in my head, uncomfortable, feeling as if I gave horrible insight. Worried that he misunderstood what I was saying and that it would result in a terrible outcome for both parties involved. I will always wonder about him, but always respect him for asking such a question.

_It Ain't THAT Broke!

2010-02-19T14:54:00.001-08:00

We throw a lot of things out during our life time. Things that have accumulated over the years. Things we have used and abused, or things that never showed a purpose. Things that we didn't want to give up, or things that despite all, needed to be given up. Tangible and the intangible. Found and the bought. It can feel really good to throw things out, organize your bedroom, as if you're reorganizing life as a whole. Things can begin to turtleneck our lives, but can provide great interest at the same time.

The shop that I work, throws away a lot. I always refuse to do it or look. Some are not salvageable, but most could be easily donated or fixed. But instead, filling landfills. I take what I can, when I feel as though I can remake it into something. This is a classic checker board that I grabbed sitting by the garbage waiting to be taken out. It had a wrinkle. Apparently that made it broken and unable to sell. I took it home, added an acrylic wash. I did a pointillism design, and then recreated the checker pattern by adding a blue wash of squares on top. Lastly I spread a thick protective compound to the surface and added cork to the bottom. Now, show me that wrinkle...

_Thought of the Day

2010-02-07T16:42:00.000-08:00

Why do buns come in packs of 8 and burgers come in packs of 10 and 20!

_February's First Thursday

2010-02-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

Evelove Glimerous

“Chandelier” by Michael T. Hensley & Felicity Fenton; 48” X 46” 2009; mixed media on wood

Evelove Glimerous - Michael T. Hensley & Felicity Fenton with p:ear youth artists

Opening Reception: Thursday, February 4th, 6-9pm
On Display: February 4th – February 28th, 2010
Gallery Hours: Tuesday – Thursday, 10-1pm: or by appointment
Gallery Location: 338 NW 6th St. Portland, OR 97209 Corner of 6th & NW Flanders

Evelove Glimerous features the work of Michael T. Hensley and Felicity Fenton complimented with p:ear youth artists. Their collaboration creates a raw intensity that consumes the viewer with its vibrant color and large scale. The organic line and shapes densely fill the space breathing motion into its exposed content. Soul Recovery Systems, their interactive installation complements the theme as it intrigues us to take a closer look at the content of our own life.

Let your eyes dance across these rhythmic works of art while listening to the live performance by Dropt Trou. Influenced by Queen, their unique alternative sound is bound to keep the night young. Be sure to join us for art and live music on February 4th.

_Sia

2010-02-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

My latest musical obsession. These are two of her songs from her album "Some People have Real Problems".

When in doubt, always ALWAYS go to the coast

2010-01-30T18:24:00.000-08:00

At the foot of the Astoria Column

You propose your voice, the wind whistles it away. You propose your pain, the water numbs it with time. It temporarily mutes your expressions and allows you to just be. Defines the what 'is', removing the "shoulds, coulds, and want to's" A definition needed to be reread from time to time.

One of the many bullet holes in the glass of the Cape Mears Lighthouse

Inhaling the vacancy of stressful existence at Hug Point.

Rocking out to Michael Jackson and a new favorite Sia, some coworkers and I fled to the Oregon coast for a day. Why? Cuz it's never a bad idea to go to the beach. The best discovery was the meat outlet outside of Tillamook. A gas station that doubles as a meat house. It was a beautiful thing. Being sure to stop by the Goonies house in Astoria and hike to the light house in Cape Mears, the day wasn't complete until I got to play in the water.

_"Kick Rocks '09...Get Bent 2010"

2009-12-31T19:14:00.000-08:00

2008 was a blind wild ride, 2009 kicked my butt w/ a lemon twist, So whut u got 2010!? Bring it! Lets do the ruckus tango in a blue grotto, you down!? ...Better, cuz it is oh so happening

Layout:
more countries
new adventures
less dependencies
more dedication toward a liberating life
less talkin' about it
more big pictures, randomness and a whole lot of action!

Peace out '09!

_The BIG 100

2009-12-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

Picture provided by Portland City Art

The BIG 100 was a one night only art show that I was in along with 99 other artists from the Portland area. Each artist did 20 panels. Each panel sells for $30. The 2000 pieces were hung like a quilt on the maze of walls leading you through to the silent auction, dj, restaurant/ bar, and back to the front. The night was a lot of fun, as I met up with Sarah, and did my first lap, playing a game of "Is Thiiis one yours?". It was a crazy week trying to get these done, and I think I like about five of them lol. For those who couldn't make it, (and those who didn't know, since I didn't advertise) here is what I turned in...

Song from KEXP podcast: Bishop Allen

_Spittin' it out

2009-12-06T22:28:00.000-08:00

Last two weeks:
work full time - Check
get p:ear ready for 1st Thursday - Check
get p:ear to paint 20 panels - Check
do 12 days of p:ear marketing - Check
Take Jen to max - Check
Paint 20 panels of my own - Check
Get over being sick - 3/4 Check

First day off in a while and this is what I find myself doing...

My first attempt at beatboxing and playing harmonica. So far, your not missin' much Jen! lol

2009-11-24T18:47:00.000-08:00

Tonka is in the shop, so I've been driving the van lately.

I named it Bivvy today.

_A Tidbit of What I've Been Workin' On

2009-11-19T23:24:00.000-08:00

Its that time again...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November/December 2009
CONTACT: Danielle Kirby gallery@pearmentor.org www.pearmentor.org

The Trim/Vojdani Gallery at p:ear presents:

12 days of p:ear- Group show featuring Andy Dvoracek, Elyse Gambino, Alison Gayne, William Hernandez, Nicole Linde, Melissa Lund, Kelly Rundle, Hiedi Wirz,& Klien and Woolley with p:ear youth artists

Opening Reception: Thursday, December 3rd, 6-9pm
On Display: December 3rd – December 13th, 2009
Gallery Hours: Tuesday – Thursday, 10-1pm: or by appointment
Gallery Location: 338 NW 6th St. Portland, OR 97229 Corner of 6th & Flanders

12 days of p:ear, features the works of nine artists from the Portland area. Complemented by the works of p:ear youth artists, a patchwork of styles and techniques pushes the boundaries of thought and perception; real and the surreal; dark and light. A line, simple in nature, manages to tell a story of trials and expression as it interlaces the pieces through their diversity. Join us for 1st Thursday, enjoying music, drinks, and art!

“Lie Machine” by William Hernandez “Orange Crush” by Melissa Lund “Webcrying” by Alison Gayne

p:ear youth are 15-24 year old homeless or transitional young people that attend the educational, artistic and recreational programs at p:ear. They work independently and with guest artists, working with available materials, to create work that is expressive, vibrant and healing.

p:ear is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization.

###

_And then I fell off a cliff

2009-11-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

But not really. Just kinda. Routine has pretty much thrown me in a gutter. Who would have ever thunk, that I'd fall into routine? I know right? Weird! I still do stuff, like going to a rollerskating rink for a friends 23rd birthday party. She wanted to have an old school party. Which was fully achieved by the junior high music selection and the 50 billion little kids running around. Rollerblading came back to me like a boomerang, I even figured out how to spin. I also eat little kids for breakfast.

Wow I'm weird. Routine makes you nutty. After wrapping for 3 hours straight the other day I proclaimed that I was going to start rapping about wrapping. So I did. I called us the Silent W's. Our album consists of works such as: Yes, I did take the receipt off; Of course I'll wrap that together; (and my personal favorite) Don't back up, there's no where to go!

While Jen was out of commissioned I sterilized the house. Rubber gloves on, handkerchief around the mouth, I had lysol in one hand and 409 in the other. I went ninja, the matrix style. Dodging germ bullets in slow motion as I was sure to throw in some summer salts (sp?) and karate jumps, while dancing around to music and disinfecting every molecule. It was pretty intense. She's better since - nuff said.

_Field of Screams

2009-11-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Meeting a couple of coworkers at the store, we piled into Mike's car. Changing the voice that announced the directions on his GPS, Dr. Nightmare guided the way to the corn maze. His creepy voice set the tone, as he led us through the windy back roads to Sauvie Island after sundown. The first maze (the Trail Blazers Logo), was a giant mud pool. Wading through the maze, dodging highschoolers, and taking the outside of all corners led to intricate balancing tactics. Nicole was demoted of the leadership role after leading us to the entrance 3 times! It was a lot fun winding through the routes solving the "cornundrums" and trudging the maze.

Next we jumped in line for the "Field of Screams" maze. The hour long line led to some intense Mike & Nicole time, but we managed through with the help of the "cornologist" and other characters as they stopped and talked to us for a bit. Cautiously stepping into the maze I strategically placed myself between Mike and Nicole, which did not last long as both Nicole and I were wimps hop-skipping everywhere! Approaching a set up on the left would SLAM! with a prop jolting the body to the right of the narrow path, putting you face to face with a live person lurking in the corn only to jump out, freaking the BEJEEZIES out of your already goosebumped self. The double edged sword, is that if you react, they know you're the wuss of the group and then single you out further. It wasn't until the creepy lady not only startled us but then ran up to me GROWLING that I almost peed my pants laughing within my creeped out-ness! Using the port-o-potties before the maze= good choice! Timing is impecable. Nicole had just explained her hate for clowns when one had jumped out honking out of the corn. A quick moment had passed, thinking that he had retreated into his hiding spot she said "come on this way" and turned and walked to check out the path. IMMEDIATELY the clown went crazy stealth and followed right behind her. Mike and I standing at a bit of a distance away, began to bust up laughing foreseeing the situation. As predicted, once she noticed it was a dead end, she turned talking to "us" to become face-to-face with the clown, resulting in a freaked-out laughter while yelling at us! Oh man, to this day that ninja clown's stealth move in conjunction with Nicole's reaction, still makes me crack up hysterically!!

Overall it was an awesome time at the mazes! Though for a person that hates all things scary, I think i'm good on the startling jolts for the year!

_Yes, this WILL be happening...

2009-10-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

Front image for our announcement that I created

Which means, that THIS will also be happening...

For the Star Wars event we are all dressing up in costumes ordered by my boss. All I know is that I'm in Clone Wars, I'm Badass, and I am an evil ventress. yeeeea...it's going to be a long day.

_'Home is where the art is'

2009-09-30T22:21:00.000-07:00

As I've mentioned before I have been volunteering at p:ear a nonprofit downtown. Tomorrow has finally come! My first curated gallery opening. It is really great to see the efforts put into this show materialized before me. Better than that; to work with an artist excited to integrate the students' work in with his own, truly collaborating beyond the wall space, but in spirit and energy. The walls and use of space is sporadic, in high volume, intimidating upon approachment, and consistent in its inconsistency. The media itself is bold in color, imagery, and line work. It is self defining and forces the viewer to accept its presence, leaving it up to you, to find your place within it. A very honest reflection of the whole inspiration for the show.

Yesterday and today, I have been spending ample amounts of time at p:ear, as I will be for weeks ahead. 2-3 mornings a week I will be hanging out with the kids. Yesterday was my first REAL time there. I feel a bit of awkwardness, not sure where to sit, what to do. I've decided to take a backseat approach. Grab a cup of coffee, a pen, and sketch. I notice one of the students watching me draw. Do I say something? Try to "connect". But, wait, what's okay to say, and oh crap my sketch looks like an angry face. Gah, is it okay to draw this, should I draw something happier? He seems mesmerized with my motions. Content. I realize we are 'connecting'. Through steady motions a mental connection is made. He doesn't want to be approached. Talked to. Even looked at. The beat of controlled, repeated line work, kept a subtle intriguing eye. A volunteer tries to approach him, ask if he's interested in photography, makes awkward conversation telling him about programs. To which he replies he's been in and out of p:ear for 5 years, cutting the one sided conversation short through his detatched yet abrupt sentence. He knows the drill. To which he then, got up and left.

Finding my place is tricky. The students are extremely sensitive to which has already been challenged today. The scariest balancing act I've ever been apart of. I use sketching alone at the table as my 'in'. Letting them approach me when they're comfortable. So far it is working well, while also giving me time to analyze each student before having to talk to them. Their rhythms are not mainstream. I have learned it is not just my relationship with them that needs balance and definition, but I'm also the adjoining link between them and the artist, another relationship that needs to be defined and balanced. I'm extremely honored to be approached with problems and concerns. I want to be approachable. Sensitive to feelings. Trusted within the community. It is absolutely terrifying.

I see and feel the potential of working and growing at p:ear. I am excited to come more regularly. It is humbling. It is like the creation of a sketch. I need to go more often, provide a sense of stability and repetition. Let the experience flow, controlled, but not letting the mind over power too often. Have fun, and realize, we're all people, just looking for acceptance, laughter, and a little food on the side.

2009-09-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

I WILL blog again. Its on my kinda formulated checklist, written with invisible mental ink...somewhere

_Food Inc

2009-09-21T17:24:00.000-07:00

This is the opening to a documentary I watched the other day with a friend at laurelhurst. It pretty much leads you full circle through the range of all human emotions. Taking an 'Ethics of Eating' course in college I have a good idea of the arguments proposed by reading books now popular such as 'The Omnivore's Dilemma' by Michael Pollan. However; it does not compare to vile images consumed through the visionary elements of hidden cameras in factories and with the intense undertone of the narrator complimented to creepy haunted house music.

All production aside, they make good points. Reading a book is one thing, but to see with your own eyes the insides of the factories it is extremely intense. After the publishing of 'The Jungle', Roosevelt even provided stricter laws, creating better working conditions making the beef factory one of the best industry positions and now it is one of the most dangerous. Positions that most American's don't even work, but leaving the majority for illegal immigrants. I thought working in a pizza pocket factory sucked, I couldn't imagine working in a meat factory.

The documentary is very raw and willing to show everything, but I think its a good one to watch. While they pull the dramatic card in some areas it still gives good awareness to the changes that we can make to lead healthier, longer lives. Its definitely worth checking out, but because I could talk an hour on it, I will stop at this.

and then I went and ate mcdonalds...lol j/k

_Barats and Bereta, a rediscovery

2009-09-16T21:31:00.000-07:00

These guys went to Gonzaga and were just a year or so older. They were known for always making funny random videos such as this:

Last I heard their videos went viral, and abc picked them up with a year contract in the 6 digits. They also made a music video for Barenaked Ladies. They're good at being fearless and against the norm! Here is one of their most recents:

Oh, if only I got paid big money to be random, and absurd...

_Ermm...

2009-09-10T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hair cut day!

I get there and they want to 'show me around'. So I walk the two steps around the counter to which they introduce the dressing rooms. Say whuut? To which they hand me a rolled up smock. Uhm I leave my clothes on right? AWKwarrd. So I use the facilities to put on the smock or 'robe' and wait outside the desk. I had foolishly assumed there was more to the tour. Nope. Sitting on the couch glancing around at the others I realize...my robe is on backward. I'm, awesome! So instead of simply standing up and going back into the provided dressing rooms, I feel the need to sneakishly flip it around while I'm sitting on the couch. Whew! I have never had such a stressful trip to the hair cutters.

_Life as a Chick with a Phaux Hawk

2009-09-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

Done on a whim instigated by a case of the 'crazies', the days are dwindling down to a decision point. Do I stay with an edgy style to keep my coworkers in question or do I slowly relax into a more accepted style more neutral to the conservative environment that I want to respect?

It has been quite an experience for sure. At first I just noticed the looks. The abnormally long stare complimented with the muffled smirk out of one side of the mouth. Always reciprocated with an awkward smuggled check to see if my zipper is down totally forgetting that my hair makes me different.

Reaction tells a lot about a person. Driven by emotional response, lying nearest to truth, exposing honesty in the briefest form. Seeing a person's reaction to my style, or lack there of for that matter, allows me to better read them. Knowing a sliver of how they perceive me, shows me a sliver of how they tend to take on the world, go about life in general.

Its funny how conversations have also changed. While some people that are straight and narrow use my looks as a way to doubt my positives, the others use it as a comforting reason to talk to me about things that are not normally socially acceptable. Assuming and looking for someone to share experiences with. Someone to which they can expose their secrets, or void their guilt. On the other hand, I have been accepted into the super liberal community with open arms. The conversations just as random, only instead of wanted consoling or advice, they want a partner in crime. Perceptions and assumptions are tossed to the side while expectations decline and everyone has this ability to just, 'be'. A respect is also defined, broken free from its hierarchical enamel found in other environments.

It has been a consistent reminder of the impact of our surroundings. Assumption can cause us to doubt our selves. Weaken our confidence and distance our relationships. A Quick judgment can furnace the feeling of inadequacy, can crash the opportunity for innovation. It has reminded me in my own life to not categorize. Something that is easy for all of us to forget. Always look at the personality, listen to the laughter. Noticing the positive can make someone's day. Feeling heard, lightens the soul. Acceptance is a security that we all need, to which safety nets our ability to thrive.

Either way, I'm about 1/8th of an inch away from a female mullet. A style that I will never be brave enough to sport. Hence, the motivation for a re-design.

Cheers!, to a little crazy, topped with a bit of growth.

_Mika

2009-09-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

Shout out to Em for her amazing advice the other day!
"Date lots of boys."

Our summer of 2007 song:

2009-09-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have tried to write a blog post all week and I have failed. I have one in the works, but how to say what I want to get across is not going for me at the moment. Lately all brain activity clocks in at 11am and clocks out at 7:15pm. So instead I have posted a video for your viewing pleasure.

Disclaimer: It is kind of provocative especially with the bolemia part, but I still find it really funny. Just one of the reasons Pink has won me over...

__p:ear

2009-08-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Chris Haberman, "Street Musician", Oil & Found Materials, 2006

As of about a month ago, I am volunteering at a local nonprofit, p:ear. It educates transitional and homeless youth (14-24 yrs old) through the arts. I like that they are not trying to 'fix' the kids, but teach them to channel their emotions through a positive outlet such as art. They have a great facilities in downtown Portland, where I am working with Marcia to run the gallery. I am mostly providing marketing, graphic design, as well as other duties like installation and outshows.

This is the front of the exhibit card for Chris Haberman's show, whose opening reception is on October 1st. We also collaborate the student work with the artist showing that month. They get to choose their own selling points and come to the opening etc. Their work is incredibly fascinating because there is so much content to it. They put so much feeling into it, that it creates a level of depthness that tends to be lost in a lot of today's work. You can't help, but to be intrigued and drawn into their heads.

It's fun to be apart of and I look forward to working and learning with Marcia and doing more as the months go on!

...and then I met my cousins.

2009-08-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

After my wreck I was salvaged by the duh-du-du-duuhh swoop n' save from the car of cousins and sisters to go back towards Portland. Splitting from Jen, we headed to the stock pot for a quick drink and some appetizers. Our "not really hungry" turned in to almost having to switch tables because we ordered so much food and then consuming it like a crazy tazmanian devil in 90 seconds flat!

Yea, we're impressive. Don't doubt it. Just accept it.

Rehashing stories and laughing it up we decided to go all out, and hit the town. One hour was just not enough to harbor the laughter that was insuing. Driving back to Sarah's we caught a taxi to drop us off further downtown. This was. By FAR. The most awesome-est, funnest. cab. ride. EVER. Befriending the driver (Igor) we decided to sing a song for him. So I pull out my harmonica and start in with some 12 bar blues rythms. Breaking in time for Jessica to get into character and belt out lyrics about Igor, who was LOVING IT!

It was hysterical to say the least! I was wailing on the box harp, trying to bust out some rifts but had to stop and get off beat due to incredible laughter along with Sarah and Theresa from the lyrics that Jessica came up with!

Getting out, we started to go into the next pub, when I realized my ID case had fallen out of my pocket when in the cab. D'OH! So super Sarah called the taxi company to figure it out. Soon we see Igor, with his harm out his window waving my ID case, yelling for us! Duh-du-du-duhhh, Igor to the save n' pass rescue!!!!

The only record of our night. The picture courtesy of Sarah, who appropriately labeled it as:
Cousin love. This happened...and then the night ended.

Cheers, to an awesome night of randomness and gut wrenching laughter, with a side of food!

...Weekend Bender

2009-08-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Literally.

"Drive Safe" I say to the remaining family members as I head out to the pick up to head back to Portland and meet up with the cousins.

*SCrrrrrreEEEEeeeeeCH* *BAM*

Uhhhhg...

Gulping nonexistant saliva, riding a sense of disbelief, and overwhelmed by confusion with nervous chaos pitted in my stomach, I pull to the curb.

I was not speeding, playing with my phone, coming home from the bar, had music blaring, just the simple element of confusion in a foreign environment. Although, no excuse for justification can change the realization of this outcome.

Driving back to Clyde and Carols to a vast audience the only words I could uproot from the bottom of my stomach were, "If only I had a harmonica to sing the blues for situations like this" as I pulled one out from my pocket and began to hum some bars.

Despite a low point in my day I still had a great time seeing everyone and glad I made the trek.
Next year, lets carpool!

"You are my sweetest downfall"

2009-08-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

I think few naturally see what I see.
A deeper meaning, subtleties, normalcies to most are cues to me.
While I sit back, watch, listen, I begin to understand.
Put pieces together.
Pieces that others wouldn't see as broken.
If I explain people see, understand, but otherwise would have never noticed.
Not care to notice.
I stay once removed, detatched, but absorb.
If I take a moment to react, speak up, stand up.
Take that moment to uphold my self.
My feelings.
It is easy to be shut down.
Because others don't see.
I am only a reflection.
To be understood in the eyes of the other.
Sometimes I think.
I am my sweetest downfall.

You Know...

2009-08-20T10:38:00.000-07:00

The world and people aren't so scary...if you just say hi.

Ever Wonder...randomness?

2009-08-16T14:54:00.001-07:00

Ever have super random arguments in your head? Pushing the possibilities just to see how far you can take it. Not really coming to any conclusion. Just a pile of randomness that you'll leave on the floor to rediscover another day. Yeah. I do that alot. Here's one of the few:

Picture from my airplane window

Say you have fish in a tank. You can knock on the glass to get their attention. Clean the tank, taking away water and adding it back in. Flip the light on and off, pick up the tank and move it, prod at them with your finger.

Maybe, we are all just fish in a tank.

Thunder is the knocking of the tank
Sun is the working lightbulb
Moon is the dulled lightbulb about to be changed thus defining our days and nights
Tornados are the sucking of air
Windstorms/tsunamis are the replenishment of air
Droughts are the cleaning process of the tank
Rain is the replenishment of water
Earthquakes are the moving of the tank
Planets are only the poster pinned behind the tank

Like fish are a life form that we set on the table and watch from a distance, we are the life form for something else, simply sitting on a stand in the corner. All of our environmental elements are simply someone screwing with us from the outside, most likely out of boredom. So does that mean that we have been pulled out of our natural living habitats.

AND, If I can have a conversation such as this with myself, do fish have conversations like this in their head? I mean we have classified their brains as being small, inferior to our own. But that is merely a perception based on studies performed by the only point of view that we have: our own. We are analyzing the functions of a fish' brain based on how we analyze our own, because that is what makes sense to us. Using ourselves as a prototype for a basis of comparison to everything else in relation. But fish are a completely different species. Their functions and elements are to be read differently. MAYBE their brain is so small, because it doesn't need to be any bigger. Its compartmentalized to a point to where we just aren't reading it accurately.

Yeah...fish are probably the epitome of life forms. They know how to just: live.

O.M.A.F.

2009-08-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Title: OPERATION MAKE A FRIEND

Date: 8-14-09

Objective: MAKE A FRIEND

Reason: FRIEND SHORTAGE

Goal: RECEIVE CONTACT INFORMATION FOR LONG TERM RETURN ON POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP

Criteria: NO CREEPERS

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Title: PROGRESS REPORT - O.M.A.F.

Date: 8-15-09
Objective: MAKE A FRIEND
People Met: 3
Names Remembered: 2
Contact Info Achieved: 0

Contact #1: JEFF
Age-ish: >55
Fact: CARTOONIST

Contact #2: JACK
Age-ish: 23-25
Fact: ENGLANDER

Mission Complete: NOT IN FULL

A Means to an End

2009-08-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

Wow, it happened. It finally happened. I am now gainfully employed. Working for the man. Weird. Its been about a year and a half of unemployment, so I've had alot of time to think about my reaction to the news of acceptance. I always thought I'd jump up and down, freak out with my facebook status, and throw a good one-two punch into the air. Instead it was more of an 'okay, about time, lets get going, I've got bills to pay'. I realized during this time that employment would result in something relatively simple and easy and I'm ultimately cool with that because it will let me put time into creating art. Though, I cannot lie that I am still slightly disappointed. Its great people, great business, great opportunity, but about 3 steps back from working at the bookstore during college. Its just tricky to get my mind to readjust to being "trained" to break down cardboard boxes. Whatever makes the time tick faster I 'spose.

I have a feeling I'll get settled, comfortable. Steadily grow to the point I was at with the bookstore as they let me. I have a feeling I'll get settled, comfortable, this will be apart of my life for years and yet the first to be forgotten. Funny. I'm going to have to work on this.

I am extremely thankful, and blessed to have obtained an opportunity. To finally get my foot in the door. And foremost, to be able to wear casual clothes! I'm excited for a bit of stability, to build a savings, and to add texting back to my phone plan lol.

In my first day I have realized:

I'd rather be volunteering in Haiti
This job is a puzzle I've already solved
I will always prefer the backroom to the floor
Consolidating and breaking down boxes is still a fulfilling odd satisfaction
Tomorrow will be better

...and then I broke my camera.

2009-08-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

Through Rose Colored Glasses

I tell ya, I don't know how I get through the day sometimes. lol, but I always manage to have fun! I may have dropped my camera in the sand breaking the lens (again) and losing my harmonica, but my day would not have been complete if it weren't waking up to headlights and a man's voice yelling, "ROCKAWAY POLICE DEPARTMENT, SHOW YOURSELF!" Sleeping in the back of Tonka the pickup, we had constructed a make shift tent using a tarp and a stick, apparently parked in an illegal parking lot behind the church. Luckily we had previously gotten permission from the priest, which was "good enough" for the cops. Apparently, we forgot to put 'Dodge The Fuzz' on our beach list!

I have to pop-a-squat again!?

5am Wake up call: stick falling and tent caving-in, scarring the BEJEEZIES out of me! Nothing like the jolt of wood hitting metal, water, and ceiling caving upon your unprotected body to give ya a good ole "rise and shine!" We decided to pack camp and wait the rain out in a coffee shop. Here we met about 12 local senior citizens who get coffee there everyday and chat for a couple hours. We were already the talk of the town with our pick-up bed tent behind the church. They were all alot of fun to say the least! After semi going to church we jumped in line for doughnuts where a couple from the town who have started a microfinancial loan bank in Haiti, advocated their program. Being the youngest people, they zoned in on us to recruit. It was interesting to talk social justice and discuss the positives and negatives with nonprofits. So If I ever feel like volunteering for a couple weeks, I now have the hookups. I think it would be incredible to go, and I like what they're providing knowledge resources as well as financial, building long term growth instead of temporary. (They work like Kiva only specifically directed at Haiti and teach business skills with the loan process so the people learn how to be successful)

After enjoying some Tillamook icecream at the factory we completed our trip in Cape Mears with some intense wave jumping. The ocean ate my harmonica, the sand broke my camera, and the sun toasted every surface area of my skin, but I captured its beauty, held on to its music, and touched its peace. We're both left with amazing memories, I think we're even.

Fish in a bowl

Live Life Less Ordinary

2009-08-09T19:03:00.000-07:00

Super quick wood cut that I made for our peace walk. (horrible printing job, oh and sorry for the janky picture I took of it-eek)

Who doesn't randomly decide to pick up and do a peace walk down the Oregon coast?! Two of my friends and I decided that this weekend we would meet up and walk as far as we could down the coast. So I made a super quick woodcut print to represent us, grabbed the harmonica, put on the flannel and aviators and westward ho we went! Being our normal procrastinator, indecisive selves it took us til about 3pm, Saturday to actually start winding in and out, following the water as it teases the shore.

Before Picture

Well ok, maybe only 5 miles. But a powerful 5 miles! I mean we changed lives in that 4 hours. We poked jelly fish, stomped on the bazillion annoying hopper bug things that kept biting at our feet and sat on rocks cheering on the guys trying to catch a wave to surf. Starting at Rockaway Beach we walked to the Jetty and back.

Sketches1

2009-08-06T15:09:00.001-07:00

Woohoo! My camera is finally back in tip top shape and in my hands once again. I thought I'd post some of the sketches that I've done in the mean time. These are very rough and done with pen on paper, which doesn't leave much room for error. I found at night I can get good light to work with, emphasizing shadows and highlights that really help to build a drawing. I used a cross hatching technique with most of these that give the drawings a very sown or fabric feel to them. Like I said, very rough, but refreshing to be working on realism again.

Hopeful Intentions

2009-08-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

I think this video is awesome! Its collaborating beat boxing with the harmonica. It isn't the most technical like most harmonica videos, but I still think it sounds cool.

I've always wanted to play the harmonica, but have never taken the time or spent the money to acquire one. Today, I decided to do so. I found a cheap-0 one in the toy aisle. I figured it was perfect because like a normal reaction I had a feeling I would lose interest as soon as I realized how tricky they are to play. It was attached to a learning book so that I can walk around showing off to "Jingle Bells". That will come in handy for those, around the campfire moments, I'm sure. Never Fear! You Tube came to my aid. I didn't realize how much there is to learn with such a small instrument. 20 notes goes a lot farther than one would have guessed! While its frustrating when it doesn't sound the way its supposed to and no one is there to show me what I'm doing wrong, I'm determined to keep going. There's something about this small piece of metal and plastic that has me intrigued. Now I just have to get my mouth, tongue, throat, air, and rhythm, to work with it instead of the train wreck its creating now.

"Hey! Get on Offuh Me!!" Shall Commence

2009-08-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

Step 1. Stop eating an entire Tony's pizza on your own in one sitting. Starting... tomorrow

Nerves and Patterns

2009-07-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

A verse from:

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock - T.S. Eliot

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,	100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:	105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

Based on this poem a friend of mine, Cat Daze, created a portfolio of artworks ranging from photography, printmaking, and fiber works. Creating lines, unplanned, scattered, unintentionally creating balance, stability, and straightness. Showing the relationships between family, friends, and even strangers that is difficult to explain or portray, but yet each individual strand knows its role creating continuity. The embossed pieces were also great symbolism. To emboss the copper plate showed surface unity and beautiful patterns that could be put together all with the same plate. However, to ink and print the same copper plate would show natural impurities, individualizing it every time it was printed. Reminding me that though we can be so similar upon appearance we all have multiple impurities just waiting to be seen and interpreted unique to the different people we meet. The pieces showed stability through the unbalanced, and random through the trained. It truly is difficult to put into words. To say the least it was a great show!

Brew Fest

2009-07-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

Receipts faded black, smoldering in the car it was time to face the heat. Grabbing Jen, we headed downtown to dance with dehydration, play chance with heat stroke, and as always dodge the fuzz. It was CRAM packed with people. Maneuvering our way through the chaos we finally made it to the mug and token booth. Deciding which package to buy, karma stepped in dressed as a sweet older couple offering their cups for free. "We'll take it!" Score, that just saved us six bucks!! yeah yeah, I'm cheap, its like being a freshman again at a house party that you snuck into and don't want to pay a fee to get access to the keg. Besides alcohol kills germs right? -No Shame! A quick water rinse and our day immediately perked up. It took some work, but after strategically forging through the mass amounts of people, I was able to secure a drink and find my friends at the stage.

I got super excited when I saw a fiddle and a banjo getting ready to play with the other members. The two clear as day signs that they are going to be nothing short as awesome. And indeed the Clumsy Lovers were UH-MAY-ZING!

Lets not forget about the best part: People watching. Undeniably most had some kind of beer stain on their clothes, some came with beer helmets and there's always the clincher, the results of liquid courage. If a guy isn't asking me if my chest is real (Hi Dad...woops, overshare) he's an older man advocating to feed the hungry, coercing a girl in to sit on his shoulder, while he forgets about his motive, and starts bragging about not dropping her, as the male portion of the crowd cheers because she is successfully flashing everyone.

While it was hot, sticky, and disgusting out, the brewfest still consisted of fun people, great music, and very tasty Oregon brews.

Overall: SUCCESS!

Halfway Home

2009-07-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

In this particular case it was not Bernini's ability to transform stone into flesh, to capture ecstasy in physical form, or the positioning of St. Teresa at the edge of entire vulnerability. But all of these. Was she a bit off her rocker? Perhaps. Or was it her ability to completely let go. To sit at that edge of vulnerability willing to accept the unknown, trust in the only speculated. When we use pain to humanize us, she used it to wisp her closer to God. Providing motivation carrying out the memory to live her life to the fullest. Maybe all it takes is the ability to feel past the pain, so that we are not victim of acceptance, so we are never ' just fine'. All I need is a sign. So that I too will wish the pain to last forever in its infinite sweetness.

Bernini's Ecstacy of St. Teresa of Avila

Picture provided by Artchive

"The pain was so great that I screamed aloud, but at the same time I felt such infinite sweetness that I wished the pain to last forever. It was not a physical but a psychic pain, although it affected the body as well to some degree. It was the sweetest caressing of the soul by God."

...and when I say sign, I mean something that will literally whomp me upside the head and spell something out in big bold letters!

CAMERA WITHDRAWALS!

2009-07-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

OI! Its been a 5 day drought, waiting to hear news of my camera. So here's all of the things that I haven't been able to take pictures of with the motivation of Unphotographable:

A flailing mom, dancing out the steps to a WII game, made happen by inner spontaneity, supportive family, and the antsy-ness to go watch the latest Harry Potter movie.

The smiles stretched across the faces of those linked by blood, bonded by laughter, collapsed upon a blanket, eating amazing Mexican food, the Soul Vaccinations playing music in our ear, watching strangers dance the evening away, outside under the cushioning summer sky.

An ex-Disney sketch artist sitting kiddy corner across the table 2 PBR's over his limit, talking, laughing, sketching a super rad caricature of me, discussing how fun the failure of life can be.

Two girls rockin' out to America's top 40, alone at night, surrounded by prints, photos, and paintings, setting up and hanging pieces for her gallery showing, all in the reflection of an old rickety warehouse like window, being watched by the many passerby's intrigued by the luminosity and liveliness juxtaposed to a dreary cool street.

Drink 'n' Draw

2009-07-22T11:12:00.000-07:00

Through the adventures of Craigslist I found this art group that meets on Sundays at a bar and sketches together. I said to myself, "Self, Why the heck not? They draw, you draw; they drink, you drink; what could go wrong? Craigslist is always a reliable source right? Maybe?..."

Actually, the Drink 'n' Draw was tons of fun! Its in an inconvenient location so I'm going to check out a more local group that meets once a month, but I have gone twice to the one at the Goodfoot Pub and loved it. Every time its a different group of people so the first time I went it was pretty quiet, laid back etc. This last Sunday was louder, sillier etc. Its a bit awkward just because I'm still meeting all of the regulars, but I've really come to enjoy it. You can work on individual work or do collaborative drawings which happen to be my favorite. When you get stumped with your drawing and pass it on, its extremely exciting to see someone else add to the drawing and take it a completely different direction. The group is more comic driven whereas I tend to do more realism, so I find it good practice to keep up and break my traditional thinking and expand into new worlds. They haven't updated their website yet for this months sketches, but I'll let you know when they do.

So anyone in the pdx area whose got a hankerin' for sketchin', and drinkin', come check it out!

Life Update:

2009-07-17T10:56:00.000-07:00

Sprint Bill: Paid

Identity Theft: Getting fixed

Camera: Geek Squad is on it!

Unemployment: Getting Approved

Ankle: 10 Times better

Interview: Still overqualified

NOW...Back to the drawing board, Literally!!

(Can't wait until my camera gets fixed so I can upload the new sketches I've been working on!)

What. Uh. Week.

2009-07-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

Cell phone overage charge. Victim of my own self stupidity. D'Oh

Identity Theft. Victim of someone else's stupidity. D'Oh

Camera tripped. Lens Broke. D'Oh

Have to file for unemployment over the phone. Out of service. D'Oh

Ankle problems. No insurance. D'Oh

Awesome interview. Told I'm overqualified. D'Oh

All efforts to do right. Only ending in wrong. D'Oh!

Now, its things like this that make me want to go all anarchy on society. Nah... I'm way too lazy for that kind of effort.

Sing it Sistah!

Amelie

2009-07-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

Picture provided by wiki

In the mood for an independent french film? Yeah I'm usually not either. But Amelie is worth reading through the english subtitles. I know, its the most reading I've done in a while too. Two of the many favorite quotes from the movie:

"Failure teaches us that life is but a draft, an endless rehearsal of a show that will never play."

-Hipolito

Old Man at the Two Windmills: Still, true love does exist. Suzanne, Owner of Two Windmills Bar: I know. After 30 years behind a bar, I'm an expert. I'll even give you the recipe. Take two regulars, mix them together and let them stew. It never fails.

Seriously, it'll change your life.

A.D.D. and BORED =

2009-07-12T09:32:00.001-07:00

FLANNEL, FAKE GLASSES AND A CAMERA OF COURSE!! Why didn't I think of this sooner? Yesterday morning I was desperately bored. I could have painted, but I've hit a bit of a plateau and realized I needed some stimulation to instigate new ideas. I was planning on hitting some galleries to do this, when I came up with the idea to pull out my inner indie/hipster and create my own stimulation. So here goes, a day strolling the streets of PDX...

Self Portrait for the day. I would like this a lot more if the camera strap wasn't dangling down my arm.

Park shot. Playing with the ISO balance allowed me to capture the tone of black I wanted to start with on the top and bottom of this picture.

Walking by, this woman asked if I had any spare change. Randomly I actually had 55 cents and offered it to her if I could take her picture. She was super cool and very willing. I like this picture because I feel like at that moment, the only difference between her and myself, is that I was holding a camera. Nothing else mattered, she was intriguing, happy to laugh, and she had everything she needed right there beside her. There's a piece of me that envies her, and a larger piece wishing I would have stood with her a moment longer and asked for her name. She deserves to be humanized. And there I was, only jumping the societal bandwagon, quick to walk away.

This is my favorite. Walking by this reflection I noticed someone had written the word 'Depression' on the glass. At first I tried to get my own reflection and then noticed the tree and immediately realized that's what needed to be captured. Whose to say that a tree can't feel depressed. Its there forgetting its own control as we're sure to trap it by the cement we pour around it. To be seen and walked by, rarely noticed. Only appreciated on warm days for its shadow, never for its actuality. I would be depressed too!

Remember These Commercials??

2009-07-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

Yeeea. Was trying to complete some paper work the other day when this conversation happened...

"So I can't tell you WHO, but another name is coming up under your social security number"

(Me) "Say Whuuuuut"

Seriously, Jen and I couldn't even function, flabbergasted with our jaws still frozen in the open position. So yeah. Someone has used my SS#. Awesome.

Looks like I have some Private Investigation work to do! Cheers to standing in long lines with minimal results!

First Attempt of an Artist Statement + video

2009-07-08T23:12:00.000-07:00

First attempt at writing an Artist Statement. Plus a video. Why? Because I rediscovered this song that I like and felt the need to share. I'm not really keen on the statement I wrote, but I'm having a harder time writing it than I thought I would.

I catch myself painting, sketching, morphing my imagination into a form that can be perceived by another viewer. Some call it art. Some call it expensive junk. The title is irrelevant. It is my vice. My voice. Sometimes it makes sense. Sometimes not so much. Some silly, some emotional, some absurd. Nonetheless, I strive for no consistency, no particular medium, no specific genre. It is a moment of no definition, no limits, only pure vision of the soul, to which changes every day with every experience.

Betty Boop: Failure, 4th of July: SUCCESS!

2009-07-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Needless to say, there is no photo documentation to show proof of my 4th of July in Rockaway Beach. I set my connections with the mafia to take care of that for me. No really, I met this guy in NYC at this bar I used to go to, oh I never told you about that? ...oh, uhm...nevermind then.

None the less AMAZING

4 walls...AND a door!?!?

2009-07-01T22:20:00.000-07:00

Surviving the drive back to Portland, I finally make it home. I walk in, set my bag down, say ' hello couch!' and do a dive 'n flop onto the welcoming cushions I've been oh so familiar with for over a year now. I immediately diverge into my normal computer surfing routine and take a quick nap, exhausted from the drive. Two and some hours later I finally peel myself up, destined to take a shower ALL the way upstairs. Slinking up the last step I'm weirded out with the fact that the door is shut tight, finally noticing a label that read "Danielle's Room". My eyebrows reinforcing my confused eyes, slowly twist the door handle clockwise. Giving the slightest push, causing the door to creakily open, as if to give a chance for something to jump out at me. Instead my eyes were met with a bed, papasan chair, and t.v. set up. Clothes hung up in the closet and everything! Whoa! Its like stepping into alternate reality. A concept so distant for so long was greeted by overwhelm. Surely, I was experiencing a cold case of ID theft! No, no. I was quickly reassured this is my new spot. Whoa!

Waking up to only the morning sun. Not to roommates getting ready for work or dishes clanking, or the feeling of another presence just sitting in the same room. No clothes draped out of a packed suitcase losing track if they are even dirty or clean. Double Whoa!

First: awkward and uncomfortable

Second: used it

Third: never left!

Interesting timing as I had just announced that I was going to be Kat's roommate in her car as soon as she moved back to pdx. Hmmm... Muh! I gotta room, I gotta room, I gotta room, hey hey hey HEY!

There's No Greater Greeting after a Year Long Drought

2009-06-30T22:33:00.000-07:00

Spokane was a blast! Friends. Bosses. Debauchery. Yes, altogether. We had to give Justin the giant wave of a send off before he dives into Africa and goes Peacecorp on us. I thought the driving would never end. I was close to ripping out the radio and throwing it out the window if they played the "Don't Trust Me" or "Take a Ride on my Disco Stick" songs any more. Pink and All American Rejects were my savior. Oh and there was the dramatic Bay Watch run to jump and tackle my friends upon first sight, that made it all worth while. And by dramatic, I mean the "dropped all of our possessions and literally ran towards each other on an open extensively long side walk, arms wide open when we noticed each other several yards away" dramatic. We were only missing a wheat field for that last bit over the top-ness. And when I say Bay Watch run, I mean we were both way out of shape and that was the longest hardest run we had done in months, and though our efforts were in full steam, we were both rejected by our muscles to which resulted in the awkward, puffed out chest, hip swinging, slow-mo run. It was pretty much amazing and surprisingly unscripted!

Ya that's how I roll. Impromptu, cheesy, with a side of awkward, but always topped with laughter.

2009-06-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

On my way to Spokane, I stopped at a high school friend's graduation party out in the sticks. The evening was full of laughter as Sadie and I are ones that can get a good gut wrenching laughter out of anything. That night I opted to sleep out in the back of the pickup. I love sleeping outside. There is something extremely pure and revitalizing about falling asleep to the star salted sky wrapped by the blanket of silence. Lungs swallowing the crisp air, cut by our nostrils the dew hydrating our skin. Waking up cold is uncomfortable, but reinforces the cleansing of my body and is quickly warmed by the touch of the morning sun. Despite not going to bed until 1am and realizing it is only 6am I still feel as though I have had the best night of sleep for months. I stretch my muscles slightly stiff from the hardness of the metal pickup bed, grab and twist my hair to put the hair back to its style, slide on the aviators, and cruise through the gears headed towards Athena amongst those ever rolling fields, that always lead me home.

Goldenbloom

2009-06-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday I get a random text: Hey I'm coming to town this week, wanna hang out??
I reply: Absolutely, when are you coming!?
Kat: Be there in 2 hours, eating with fam, meeting you downtown for music, I have connections with the band.
Me: Game on.

Game on it was as we met up at the Eastburn bar. I am loving the NE area more and more as I hang out there. What can I say, those are my people. Hovering in the forefront of the bar a group of people get up from their table and leave. There just sitting on the table, perfectly, untouched, halves of burgers and sandwiches. Just sitting there! Untouched! Haven't people heard of doggy bags? So while it may be a sign of our cheapness/brokeness we contemplated going in for a swoop and grab. ...no shame! The food too taunting in its purity and goodness took the best of us and as we stepped to make our move we were beaten by a fellow nonwaster/hunger driven individual who not only went for the swoop and grab, but was prepared with personal tubperware! After sharing in a laugh we headed towards our table near the band. This bar had a 2 dollar special on any tap beer, to which they had a book full. No PBR tonight! Goin' with the good stuff, and oh did we. Hemp beer, was amazing. Having connections with the band was a lot of fun. Goldenbloom even had special dancers who dressed up in alien costumes to dance to some of their songs to which emily is sporting one of their hat designs below. The night was full of laughter as we closed down the bar and enjoyed the music and alien entertainment.

2009-06-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

Ode to Sloppy Joes

Picture provided by The Evil Beet

Nom Nom Nom...

Picture provided by fotosearch

A Celebration of Life

2009-06-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

A dragon was slayed today.

Pierced by a cardboard point.

Milk bled from the wound.

Flooding the earth with hope.

Giving strength to those who taste its current.

Protected by the characters at arms.

Who always stand behind with courage.

A dragon was slayed today.

By a leader who has created a river of hope.

Another letter desperate to be written

2009-06-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Self,

It’s been a year of defiance upon a lifetime of structured achievement. The training wheels of school did in fact serve their purpose. I know that it seems as though they only provided a false sense confidence and incredible naivety to the progression of life after their gone, but their buffer was in fact needed. While your head is willing to take on anything your heart needed the reassurance of the possible and the ‘what could be’.

But like progressing to a 2 wheeled bike you did not expect the fall to be so far, to bleed in as many places, and to have to rediscover your own balance within the same reality. This year has caused you to second-guess yourself, your threshold of frustrations to diminish, and your self-confidence to become nonexistent. Your body aches from living on couches, your ego is bruised from rejection, your body is sick of being seen in the same five outfits from the same suitcase you packed before you graduated, and your soul is cold from the distance of self satisfaction and friendship. Watching others succeed around you has moved beyond providing motivation to twisting the knife.

You must remember that achievement comes in multiple forms besides signed diplomas, job histories, and lease agreements. It is not conforming to the steps pressured to take by society or in relation to the others around you. Because I know you. I know who you really are and who you are not. And you would never exchange your scrapes, bruises, broken limbs and the time it took to heal for an unblemished lifestyle. It is not in your blood and I hope it to never be.

So while you still haven’t caught the rhythm of riding you have felt the beat of falling. A resilience, while painful to endure, creates an armor apart of the skin opposed to a phi sod we safety pin on. Don’t mark the year on what you haven’t achieved by social standards, but what you have endured. We both know you’ll always choose to tackle the mountain instead of the straight and narrow, the jumps instead of the smooth pavement, as well as the unbalanced instead of the kickstand.

Now look beyond the 99%. Brag about the jump you almost landed. Brush the dirt off your pant leg. Laugh it off. Quit the whining. And go again.

Always ready to smack you a good one,

Self

Thought of the Day

2009-06-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Doug,

I know that you are seen as being gross and vile and I can't help but agree 99% of the time. The nature of your business has horrible odors, usually accentuated by stagnant airflow in a humid environment. I don't appreciate being bothered by your flies and lines of impatient friends who also are tempted by your services. But that 1% is the echoing sound, amplifying and supporting, pure satisfaction in situations of weakness. Today I commend you, 1%. Cheers, to another uncomfortable situation, where you come to my aid, building my experience to look beyond the 99%.

Until we meet again Mr. Port-O-Potty,

MongoLouise

Beach Bummin'

2009-05-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

Photos are compliments of Sarah! Last weekend the sisters and I headed to the beach to escape our self realities in exchange for mother earth's at her crust. A cool salty breeze kept our jackets on, but mr. sun still made a fantastic appearance keeping a smile of solace on our faces. Naps, and laughter occurred and of course doodling in the sand!

Before

After: he's not smiling because the wind kept blowing in his face

Last Thursday

2009-05-31T21:27:00.001-07:00

After an evening power nap, Jen and I headed to Last Thursday on Alberta to check out the art and vendors lining the street. This was the coolest thing that I have done here in Portland yet. There's something about a bunch of hippies, dreads, and hand crafted save the world trinkets that makes me extremely happy! We wandered the entire length, sure to stop for a burrito and watch the music and dancers. I look forward to putting together some artwork to join in the laid back, free for all, hippie community.

This was a booth that we saw at the very last. An advice booth, free of charge! People are even checking it out. Clever, very clever.

This is a pic of the coolest band playing on the street. I wish I knew the name of their group. They had a fun intensity about their blue grassy tunes that couldn't help but keep you smilin' and head boppin'

The New "Do"

2009-05-30T20:03:00.000-07:00

Check out the new "do". Time for a night on the town? ...I think so! I took the plunge and now I'm sporting a rocker faux hawk. I just wish I had done this BEFORE I checked out Last Thursday!

A Series of Random Occurances

2009-05-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday started like any other day: morning hair, groggy eyes, and a moment to piece together where I am. If its a cardboard box I'll know something went very wrong (...or very right! hehe just kidding), but still ride it like every other wave that has come my way this past year. I woke up, painted, then met the sisters after work for a round and a game of pool. A "round" meaning that the sisters kept it, "after school special" with chocolate shakes for those "wholesome family moments" that we have from time to time.

Afterwards I trekked to Sarah's neck of the neighborhood. Just when I was starting to feel comfortable in that area there was randomly two homeless people (I assume) that happened to walk by in a 10 second time span. I happened to be on the phone coordinating with Em on where to pick me up. I jokingly said, "I'm on the corner, but don't confuse me with a hooker" Just as the first man walking with a beer walks by and yells, "HEEEEEY A HOOKER!!!" I can't help but to laugh with him as he did proceed to keep walking. The other man was more subdued on the corner with his cart. I'm very intrigued by their lifestyle and try to piece together a possible story for this particular man in wonder of what his reality looks like in junction to mine.

Meeting up with Em we drove to NE portland to the Red Room to check out some old college music performances who were playing there. It was very awkward, because we didn't really KNOW these guys they were like friends of friends' friends, which in relation made us the "creepy facebook stalker groupies". Meh...sounds about right lol. So we grab a brew and sit at a tall table behind them. Mind you there were hardly anybody there besides the musicians and it was a Wednesday night. We break the ice talking to Eric as Dave Hannon was the first to play who has a very acoustic fun pop sound. After his set Eric jumped up to beat box and be the lead singer for their group Johannin. While Eric was performing this man in his late to mid 40's comes over to us and asks if he can sit down because he doesn't like to sit alone at the bar. Wondering why he is even at the bar we say sure but we're probably leaving soon. He waves his hand and says he's married and that he is from out of town and repeats that he just doesn't like to sit alone. Which needed clarifying, because scruffy, drunk, 45 something year olds is normally what I try to hit on instead of the very attractive, 25 year olds, rockin' out on stage, whom we semi-know lol.

None-the-less Em and I took full advantage of the opportunity to have fun conversation with him. We now know, that Jesus did in fact come to the earth, but was an alien when he then learned math and physics and took the knowledge back to wherever. After Eric's performance he came and sat with us I believe to help "save" us from the situation, though doesn't know how to handle people like that and ultimately didn't help at all. The man asked where Eric worked. Eric replied, "Oh, I work with youth at a catholic school" The man quickly replied, "Oh, I'm a parent!(as if saying hey potayto/potahto) Em chimed in, "Hey, you're on the same team". After that we got ready to head out and were talking with both Dave and Eric near the door doing the contact thing before we left. I now have the possibility to do art to the music while Johannin is playing and then sell stuff with theirs.

All of a sudden as we were walking around the outside of the bar to where we parked the chick bartender comes shooting out the back door flagging us down. Apparently, her and her friends had been people watching us and we intrigued them to the point that they couldn't let us leave with out clarification of the situation. From their eyes they saw: Two chicks watchin' music in bar. Confronted by creepy man and "saved" by good looking music dudes. Dudes flirting with girls by door, and girls ditching perfectly well-behaven boys. The bartender and friends totally thought the boys were flirting with us and couldn't believe we would walk away and funnier, were so confused that they had the notion to run and flag us down outside just to clarify! Em and I thought this was hysterical as we are usually doing the people watching it was funny to be the people being watched!

Livin "Peace" Style

2009-05-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

Check out the new wave of paintings that I have added to my portfolio (link is on upper right).

Hmmm...To Go Drastic or Not To Go Drastic...

2009-05-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

Pictures provided by music.aol, starpulse

I'm sure the 'rents will love this idea. With an off-cuff-itch, I can't help but to want to shave my head into a faux-hawk. The question is not who thinks I should do this, its more of a pondering of if I could pull it off. Mind you, these examples are loaded with make-up, which isn't really my style. Hmmm, I'm kinda leanin' toward radical...

Project 2 Complete!

2009-05-21T21:55:00.001-07:00

From ideas to creation. Graphite to ink. Pain to happiness. The unkown to the known. A world was born. An environment transformed. A smile achieved.

Mario Land was my other gig this week. Awoken at 6am Monday morning it was confirmed that a mural was to be created in Liam's room for his arrival Tuesday afternoon. Never having done a mural before I was still confident in our abilities, being used to tight deadlines and crazy hours. Jen and I jumped to work after a day of overcoming hurdles around 10pm Monday night. I sketched and Jen cut. I powered through until 3:30am to get some base coats done on the contact paper. Liam's family wanted the mural movable since he would be spending his time in multiple areas of the house. We solved this by painting on contact paper and then applying a coat of varnish to seal the images. Cutting them out then gave a clean edge to which we could then apply to the walls in multiple locations of the house. Jen went ahead and went to work Tues. morning while I finished up sketches. That afternoon we powered through. Painting, tracing, and more painting along with a side of aching, lauging, and radio jamming! Working on a concrete floor created interesting body positions that were held for hours. Its like riding a horse, a fun-filled ride, that hurts to move afterwards, but will never stop you from doing it again! We were joined by Cherie to help with the before mentioned tasks. this was a huge help, since Jen's and my pace were becoming sluggish with alot still to be conquered. Again I powered through until just after 4am. I'm glad I did for Wednesday was a huge push to finish. Thank goodness for the extension. And of course, near the last we thought of an awesome idea that we had to throw in there creating more work, however, was an amazing addition. This is when the four pipes on the closet door emerged. Liam can now officially transport himself to wherever he needs to go at the flash of an eye, whether it be to his room, or his grandparents house. Princess Peach was a must for Liam's younger sister who recognized her immediately. I'm glad we were able to pull together to complete this mission. It was a fun task that had even greater rewards. I hope Liam finds himself transporting through pipes and squashing mushrooms! Today we also thought of an idea to create another series of small mario characters to send to him each week so that he can add to his Mario land as well as outfits and flower power to add to Mario to keep the mural engaging. This project, while tedious at times, has found me happy. I'd like to continue doing such projects for others. Whether at a hospital or for someone individually. It is fun to change someone's world through paint and color.

Project 1 complete!

2009-05-21T21:45:00.000-07:00

This week has been filled with deadlines and projects. My latest paying role consisted of creating pages for a Gonzaga spiral notebook. It was a fun project and a great resume builder since I don't have a degree in graphic design or have never taken classes, but I'm definitely glad to wash my hands of the project as a sign of completion. Here is a taste of one of the pages, but check out the rest by clicking on my resume link to the right:

No More Answering the Door...

2009-05-13T19:17:00.000-07:00

grass roots guy: "blah blah blah..donate or sign your name in support"

me: "I can't donate at this time, but I can sign my name to help out your working america campaign"

grass roots guy: "anything helps, where do you work?"

me: "Oh I have no job"

grass roots guy: "Well that's what we're trying to help, blah blah blah..."

me: "mhmm..."

grass roots guy: "so most people donate $36 dollars a year, that only comes to $3 a month and that I KNOW you can do"

me cutting in: "Welp, I spent my $3 this month and I think my local bartender would put up a good fight for my $3 donation next month as well"

*I shut the door to a still talking campaigner*

Guess I shouldn't be irritated by the pushy direct marketing people, at least they're workin.

My Day At The Beach...

2009-05-10T16:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I put on my swimming suit for a sunny day at the beach. I hopped in Tonka (the pickup) and headed West bound, music loud & sun glasses on.

Aaaah. This is my feet taking a breath of salty air and sand! Feel the grit between the toes I think more of the earth should consist of a sandy ground, why do we even bother with sidewalks? This...is the life!

This is my feet jumpin' the waves.

This is my feet feeling the painful burn of freezing cold Oregon Coast water!

This is my face at the beach. Swimsuit was obviously not the needed beach wear, but the sweatshirt and pants I had stored behind the seat was the savior. The sun was shining, but the wind was pretty darn cold! Eating pretzels, soakin' up the roar of the waves, people watching, and wave jumping fulfilled my oregon coast craving, but only for a bit. I'll be back soon enough, with a mission of building some kind of crazy sand creature. Until then, its time to finish up my Gonzaga project and start pounding the Portland pavement continuing the ever going job search.

A Flaw Undone is a Kirby at Bay

2009-05-04T19:56:00.000-07:00

So a lot has happened this past week. I said, "Peace-Out" to the Big Apple with an epic week long bender. Celebrating the, finally spring like weather, by spending as many moments as possible being outside soaking up the sunshine and warmth. Saying bye to the monkeys (J-Bro's Dogs) was extremely difficult due to the innate animal lover inside of me with a side of attachment issues. But my impatient soul decided it was time to dip into another job pool.

Although, I must have made some kind of mark since New York did its best to put aside my travels. Missing my flight, a typical Kirby error, caused an all day airport adventure. I thought about putting on some skinny jeans and finding a lonely man at the bar, but was deferred by an older brother's orders of "no skinny jeans". I 'spose the fact that it was only 9:30 in the morning also played a role in the decision making process. 6 hours of singing, dancing, strutting, and eating later, I boarded the plane that would send me homeward bound.

Currently, I'm kickin' it Athena style. Definitely a culture shock as the mere opposite of the big city. It hits the tongue with pure refreshment, but leaves an aftertaste of boredom. This week I'm gearin' up to head towards Portland. I'm excited to go as friends are creating outdoor adventures, something that I have been CRAVING for months. In fact my first order of business as soon as I get there is to sneak away for a day at the beach. My favorite place on earth: the oregon coast. Will see if I can coerce a sibling into playing hooky for the day and joining *cough, hint*. The empowerment of nature overriding my existence within society and culture is like a drug. There's no greater adrenaline rush than the one created by friends, adventure, & honest laughter united to purify the soul.

Ah The Crisp Taste of the Working World

2009-04-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

After a year long drought on the work front I randomly received an email from a previous employer asking for me to design some pages for them. A student founded group at Northwestern created a spiral notebook free to students across the country by selling advertising on the divider folders. Any participating bookstore or business gets to design the cover and 4 front and back pages however they want.

It was a great gesture from my previous boss to think of me and pass along the opportunity. Unemployment is fun until it is no longer a choice. It couldn't have come at a better time! I have been painfully bored the last couple of weeks to the point that even trashy reality t.v. shows, my guilty pleasure, was not even entertaining.

Jumping the gun on the project I've started to create some layouts for the pages. Here's some of what I've come up with:

There will be more to come as the project progresses. I have also learned of this website called magcloud. Here you can create your own magazine and surprisingly it doesn't cost all that much. A 20 page magazine only costs $4.00 plus shipping. The site also acts as a marketplace for selling your personal magazine. Set the selling price and everything above cost is yours to keep. Hmm...sounds like the perfect set up for creating a unique and cheap portfolio!

Woman or Animal

2009-04-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

CLICK TO PLAY AND THEN READ ON...

The line work reflects a tribal feel as well as its multiple meanings and images that comprise the entirety. While it isn't my favorite piece that I've ever done, it does fully express me today, and for that reason, is why I could never fully hate any art piece completed as an extension of one's soul.

Maybe its the concussion I gave myself, or my sporadic indecisiveness of my situation, but an unsettling tug of war stopped my normal daily accomplishments. Not that I have a ton of daily tasks as an 11.5 month unemployed person suffering from an unmotivated broken ego due to the rejections of a society who only sees normalcy in structure and stability. But the idea of what to do, how to do it, and where to be has kept my mind at race. I like everywhere, but no where at the same time. I want to stay, but I want to go back. It could be great here, but it could be shitty as well. The same happening any where that I go.

The happiness has dissipated in strength and consistency over the months. Hope and excitement appears only as the horizon stepping back every time an effort tries to make an approach. Though without pursuit would only cause strife. For what is life your not dancing the tango with it?

Am I woman or am I an animal? Am I a portion or the entirety? Right or wrong, happy or sad? What is there that I am not seeing? That I was trained not to see by the inevitable growth within conformism. I'm sure it is blatant. Its just finding the right riddle to solve that proves to be tricky.